Welcome to another week of Yakkety Yak…Let’s Chat. Oh, those words that run around in books that set up off and make you want to through your book or ereader at the wall. I have a ton of them, but I am going to list the top five that boil my blood and not in a sexy way!
- Cream – I have such a bad image of the word cream when I read it in a love scene. Seriously, when I make my morning coffee, latte, mocha or whatever I think of some man from a book adding “cream” to it and it is not a good image. Yes, it may or may not look like cream, but when they go on to say it has a tart flavor…WHAT? I don’t associate a tart flavor to my cream and if I did I would assume it had gone bad…just like the cream that man has spread all over his face. Yuck!
- Mushroom Head – I so do not like mushrooms and why would I want to call a man’s cock a mushroom? And even if I did all I can think about is sautéing them with garlic and butter. Not a way I want to handle a cock…or his idea of fun either. And when you add the word sizzling to his mushroom head…well, I just skim on past the scene and get up to make me a snack…sans mushrooms.
- Juicy/running down her leg – Really? If it is running down her leg and juicy, be worried. I am not saying it isn’t possible, it just isn’t something I find very sexy. Is she really that turned on that she is gushing with her love juices? Ok, I am getting a little corny, but still, I don’t want to think of the mess she will have to clean up once it is all said and done.
- Button – When I imagine a clitoris or clit, I don’t see a button. A button can be on your shirt or pants…nope not what I imagine when I see think of a clit. Or the buttons on a remote control that turn things on and off. Oh, I guess if someone is stabbing at my “button” I would get…well mad. Pushing on it isn’t going to turn me on like a TV. Or the buttons on a phone…nope, no typing on my “button” down there near my juicy cream. It might electrocute us all!
- Womb clenching – If my womb is clenching it is to export something out…presumably a child and I have three thank you very much. I don’t want my womb clenching for anyone now days. Nope, done! Does anyone really feel their womb clench as they get hornier and hornier? So now when I read about a womb clenching, I just giggle. Ok, I am being kind of juvenile but there you have it. It is funny, not sexy.
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