Yakkety Yak…Let’s Chat – Those words that make you want to scream!

Yakkety Yak...Let's Chat

Welcome to another week of Yakkety Yak…Let’s Chat. Oh, those words that run around in books that set up off and make you want to through your book or ereader at the wall. I have a ton of them, but I am going to list the top five that boil my blood and not in a sexy way!

  1. Cream – I have such a bad image of the word cream when I read it in a love scene. Seriously, when I make my morning coffee, latte, mocha or whatever I think of some man from a book adding “cream” to it and it is not a good image. Yes, it may or may not look like cream, but  when they go on to say it has a tart flavor…WHAT? I don’t associate a tart flavor to my cream and if I did I would assume it had gone bad…just like the cream that man has spread all over his face. Yuck!
  2. Mushroom Head – I so do not like mushrooms and why would I want to call a man’s cock a mushroom? And even if I did all I can think about is sautéing them with garlic and butter. Not a way I want to handle a cock…or his idea of fun either. And when you add the word sizzling to his mushroom head…well, I just skim on past the scene and get up to make me a snack…sans mushrooms.
  3. Juicy/running down her leg – Really? If it is running down her leg and juicy, be worried. I am not saying it isn’t possible, it just isn’t something I find very sexy. Is she really that turned on that she is gushing with her love juices? Ok, I am getting a little corny, but still, I don’t want to think of the mess she will have to clean up once it is all said and done.
  4. Button – When I imagine a clitoris or clit, I don’t see a button. A button can be on your shirt or pants…nope not what I imagine when I see think of a clit. Or the buttons on a remote control that turn things on and off. Oh, I guess if someone is stabbing at my “button” I would get…well mad. Pushing on it isn’t going to turn me on like a TV. Or the buttons on a phone…nope, no typing on my “button” down there near my juicy cream. It might electrocute us all!
  5. Womb clenching – If my womb is clenching it is to export something out…presumably a child and I have three thank you very much. I don’t want my womb clenching for anyone now days. Nope, done! Does anyone really feel their womb clench as they get hornier and hornier? So now when I read about a womb clenching, I just giggle. Ok, I am being kind of juvenile but there you have it. It is funny, not sexy.
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Shari is the Delighted Reader. Married to her Prince Charming and mother to two Princesses and one Prince. When she is not slaving away as Cinderella she loves to get lost in the pages of a good book. Never without a reading device and a few good paperback books, because she never knows when she might get 5 minutes to read!
  • LOL! Too right! There are so many descriptive words these days for body parts, sexual activities or even emotions for that matter that leave me scratching my head in confusion, unmoved or moved, but not in a good way. I struggle with the ‘slurp’ word when it comes to blow jobs even though I guess it can be accurate. My mental image goes somewhere else though. Lately, I’ve been amused by how people ‘scent’ each other in books and its things like pine, vanilla, cinnamon, berries, the sea, etc. I took a close whiff of my hubby (after he showered causing him to crack up btw. He really laughed when I explained the cause of my experiment.) and he didn’t have a special scent other than soap. He refused to sniff at me b/c I had just shoveled the drive and walk so I stank of sweat and apparently my sweat wasn’t ‘tangy’, ‘musky’ or ‘sweet’ like the peeps in the books. Guess neither of us passed the test for romance book h/h. Haha!

    • lols…your husband is good Sophia. My ex would have mushed me and said “stop reading those dog on books” lol!

      • Oh, he does make comments about the need for a book intervention. He shakes his head and mutters, but he has his vices/hobbies too so he doesn’t get too worked up about it.

        • Haha @ book interventions and shakes his head and mutters 🙂

        • Shari Delighted Read

          No book intervention please!

          Mine asked if he could quit his job and blog about video games…I would let him in a heartbeat but I don’t have the earning power he has unfortunately.

          • Don’t worry! He’s not serious about the intervention. He knows he’s got it lucky after talking to other guys. I don’t have any expensive habits and he has sole charge of the TV clicker. What’s a few book purchases a month to an expensive shoe or spa fetish, right?

    • Shari Delighted Read

      My husband would probably have me committed if I went around sniffing him like that. So I guess I smelled like bacon yesterday after breakfast…I don’t think anyone was coming on to me over that, lol. Sweat just isn’t as sexy as they make it out to be in the books.

      Isn’t funny when we read something then have to try to test it out only to find it really isn’t sexy or possible?

      • I think that too about some stuff not being possible. I read a passage about sex on a motorcycle seat. I’ve been around a lot of motorcycles and it would take a circus performer to maintain that sort of balance and contortion that was described in the book. Its fiction so I try to just go with it.

  • lmao!!! yes, I so totally agree with you all points. I just read a book today where cream was mentioned all through and I’m like come on now! I’m trying to enjoy my coffee here…lols. Yeah, not a word I would think of as sexual at all. And I’m with Sophia, how in the world are these folks “scenting” each other. Oh, she smelled of peaches “down there” really? no I don’t think so. I saw where the word kernel was just for the clitoris and that just about did me in because all of thought about was pop corn. And how is that remotely sexxy? Great post Shari…omg, you just made my day 😀

    • Oh yes, the peaches. Haha!

    • Shari Delighted Read

      Oh, I forgot the scenting stuff…really the only way anyone would smell like peaches is if they used shower gel or body spray. I hate it when it is peaches, cinnamon, sugar, apples, etc. Seriously, I know they want to “eat” each other, but just go the fridge if you are craving food.

      Glad I made you day, lol. I laughed the entire time I wrote it and even had to take some things out as to not offend people.